The reason I wanted to do this post is because lately I feel like I've changed when it comes to relationships. Maybe it's normal, maybe I am just growing up? Some days ago I gave up on guys and the whole idea of love. It wasn't anything dramatic. I didn't burn any pictures or cried or ate excessive amounts of junk food or anything. I just gave up and moved on.. which was weird because I am (used to be?) so guy crazy I figured giving them up would be harder.
I mean it's not that there aren't any good guys out there or anything. I am sure there are PLENTY somewhere out there, too shy to approach the girls they like, or too busy being smart, hardworking and all the other qualities we girls dream of in a guy. But I have this feeling that none of those guys are for me.
I think I have always known. I have always had these feeling, this thought in the back of my mind that I am destined to never be in love. It's kind of sad I guess since I am such a romantic person. I love the whole concept of love. Finding that one person that fills your life with happiness and makes you feel whole when you hadn't even noticed you were in pieces before them. But no matter how big of a romantic I am, I can't seem to be able to fall in love.
I've gone out with guys. I've had crushes and boyfriends, and don't get me wrong, I have loved these guys.. I've just never been IN love with them. Call me crazy, but I feel like there is something I have to do. Like a mission in life type of thing. And I feel like until I do this thing I can't be in love with anyone. The problem is I have no idea what the thing I have to do is. I just have the lingering feeling that I am destined to fulfill a purpose.
I had always ignored this feeling. I tried to force myself to fall in love but it never worked. I mean I am 22 years old, isn't it a little strange I have never, ever been in love? Not once? I think it is. And it's not like there is something wrong with me. I mean, i'm not crazy, mean, a bitch or a psycho. Plus guys have been in love with me,(or at least that's what they told me), so it's not my attitude. It has to be something else. My only idea is that it's my destiny but I don't know for sure.
I know 22 is a little young to be giving up on love, but I also think it's time I embrace it. I think I will be one of those lonely, bitter, old ladies that yell at kids for stepping on her lawn. That lady that all kids fear and don't stop at her house to trick or treat on Halloween. Maybe I'll get tons of cats... I like cats. Yup, it's settled, I'll be the Crazy, Cat Lady on the block. On the bright side, I will save lots on Halloween candy!
Do you think I am destined to be a lonely cat lady? Should I start looking for affordable litter boxes online now? Have you ever felt this way? Am I just PMSing? (that last one could be, after all, I'm just a girl).
Meow,
Xxx
I feel this way too, like when i go out with a guy, I don't have any feelings for them, I feel like i was numb the whole night... I think maybe instead of looking for Love, Love finds us, I was also talking about this with my friends about destiny and stuff... like (im still in highschool) we want to make sure we have a class with our crushes, and my friend said that she doesnt want to mess up fate, and i came to a conclusion that we make out own fate... but i gusse love is a little more complicated than that. I think in a few more years you'll find Love.
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Yea exactly, I don't feel anything! Sometimes I wonder if I'm just too cold hearted but then again I am not like that with my friends or family so Idk... and we go back to fate, it's the only explanation I can think of.
ReplyDeletewow deep. I believe there is such a thing as in love but life isn't easy to just find right away. sometimes love finds you instead of you finding it. I am dating this guy from this online website and found that I can't just ask for it. In a world filled with 6 billion people with so many thoughts and different lifestyles, you could easily pass somebody who would have been your first time "in love" but they might not have been the "one" or something like that. I hope your quest is fulfilled because its better to find yourself first than to find yourself twisted in love and confused because you are missing your purpose.
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